To be continued...

A month later...and meh. Still nothing interesting to say. However I just bought a MacBook and since I'll be playing with it a lot, I feel like something will come soon.

p.s: After HP, best book series ever--->

People like you.

Watching Charlie Bartlett. Great Movie.

Loving this weekend, had a XC meet and did okay, still wanting to improve though. Bought a bunch of healthy food at Sprouts today and that always makes me happy. Anyways. Good mood, don't wanna ruin it by talking about it.

You already know what it is.

I hate this feeling. You know that guilty gross feeling you get after you know you just eat too much. It's like I've had so much self-control with my diet. And then i eat all this gross food and now I want nothing more than to throw it all up....don't worry I'm not bulimic, though I have tried, I've never been able to make myself throw up. It would be nice to have that power, only for times when I really need it. I have this asian friend named Rachel who I stayed the night with the other day. And you know how most asians are super skinny and petite? (sorry about stereotyping) Well I was making fun of her saying how fat I was and how she was probably 100 pounds, and  I finally forced her to get on the scale and her weight was...........yeahp you guessed it, UNDER 100 pounds. 94 pounds to be exact. How is it possible for a teenage girl who has hit puberty to be under 100 pounds?! Aghhh, crazy crazy.

Loaded down with homework and XC as usual. Things have been generally good though, I'm still getting stressed and depressed, but I think I'm slowly rising out of this most recent depression period. This time it only lasted 3 months which is improved from the last bad period which was 6 months. But things change really easily and I know it won't take much to throw me back down to the bottom so I have to be careful.

Sometimes I feel like a complete bitch. A guy who's really cute started to talk to me and asked for my number and at first I was really excited because well he's SO cute, but then we talked more and texted more and I realized his personality is NOT my type, it's the type I usually try to avoid. And I feel like a complete bitch for it but I guess I can't help who I'm emotionally attracted too right?

I CAN'T TAKE HER ANYMORE.

How the FUCK am I supposed to put up with her BITCH LYING TWO-FACED STUPID ASS. djkashkjdhaskjdhasjkdhasjkdhas. Wanna know something funny? She's my own cousin. She's a grade older than me and she's the biggest backstabbing twofaced lying bitch in the ENTIRE world. It takes serious balls to act like you care and then talk so much SHIT. I didn't even know the human mind was capable of doing and saying the things she is doing to it's own family. Wow. Someone kill me, maybe then she'll actually be sorry.

Sick

Most people don't enjoy true rap, but if you do, check out Brenden
Click here

If you can wait till I get home

I swear to you that we can make this last. La la la. 

So basically a ton of stuff has happened in the past week. School work has been crazy, obviously as shown by my last post. And Cross Country has taken over my life! Not necessarily in a bad way though. We ran 5.5 miles today, and that was pretty hard because there were some intense hills and what not. But through every run though I feel like I want nothing more than to die right there, by the time I get done I'm like "Wow I can't believe I actually did that, I feel really good about it!" Anyways, Friday night was pretty good, just chilled and got some rest. Then Saturday I got up really early to do the Sand Pit 5k, and that was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done. Harder than running 5 or even 8 miles. There were water obstacles, crawling obstacles, climbing obstacles, and much more. And running on the soft sand for a total of 2 miles was NOT fun, I was seriously ready to turn carnivore zombie and attack everyone that either passed or ran near me. It was like I turned into a sea monster. But once again I finished and felt great! Even got first in my age group and got a medal for it! :) 

Then Saturday night I went over to my friend Rachel's house, where there were probably 20 other people to get ready for our school's dance called morP. It's actually Prom spelled backwards and that's why the P is capitalized. It was one of the funner school dances I've been to because it was completely unformal, basically was a rave. I got so sweaty and nasty, but who the hell cares when your having fun:) And it was a great way for me to make friend. I don't think the people who have stability there whole lives realize how incredibly hard it is to move to a new high school right in the middle of your 4 years and just make completely new friends. There were so many times I was mad/angry/upset/embarrassed/lonely/scared. Actually those were the majority of my feelings until I made some friends. Morp is also really fun because you dress totally crazy. Nothing you wear is supposed to make sense. And trust me it didn't haha. 

So now I've just been loaded down with some more homework. And I guess my week isn't as exciting as I felt like it was. But OH! Good news, we are most likely going to get that apartment we've been looking at for a while. I really hope so because I honestly don't know how much more of my grandmothers nagging I can take. She is constantly on me to have my room clean, drink milk, eat vegetables, do my homework, make good grades, like I DON'T do that stuff already. Shit it's annoying. But then I feel bad saying stuff like that because she buys me so much stuff and she's so nice to me and I know it's so amazing of her to let our family stay at her house for so long. I know she just wants the best for me, and I appreciate that. It just get's hard. 

Nothing new on the boyfriend front. This one guy, Luke, asked for my number last friday. But thennnnnn I lost my phone the next afternoon :( So I don't really know how that's turning out. I let him know that I lost it so he doesn't think I completely ignored him. But anyways there's a few guys I'm digging, you know when you move to a new school you get so many prospects haha. There's a guy anthony who I awkwardly met over the summer and he and his girlfriend just broke up. I feel bad because obviously they JUST broke up and I'm the type of person who would ask a persons ex if I could date them even if it had been years. I feel really sympathetic that way. But he did tell my cousin over the summer that if he didn't have a gf he would go for me. But I get so shy and awkward around guys I don't really see myself working out with anybody at all. And it's not like I'm one of those girls who depends on a guy, I'm the complete opposite, It's been forever since I've had someone that way, like 2 years, and he was honestly a GREAT boyfriend. I miss having someone to rely on like that, but i think since it's been so long I've basically syked myself out and now I don't even want to try because I think things would just be easier without a relationship and because I would probably mess shit up anyways. I'm a screw up like that. 

ASDJAKF.

SCHOOL IS SOOOOO STRESSFUL. I'm so over this. One stress/problem goes away and ten more pop up. Seriously though?! Is this how the whole year is going to be? Because I am NOT down with it.
I have to worry about being on time, (takes 40 mins to drive to school: long story why)
I have to worry about remembering clothes for PE class and XC practice everyday.
I have to remember to always have all my stuff when i leave the locker room (I've already lost one tennis shoe, and currently my ENTIRE school binder with all homework is lost in there)
I'm on the school newspaper and have to worry about stories, selling ads, deadlines etc.
I have to worry about finding time to do my weekly sketch for drawing class.
I have to remember to bring lunch everyday.
I have to remember math hw, chemistry hw, ap english hw.
I have to worry about buying a new phone because i lost (or got stolen) mine
I had to worry about getting a damn apartment, since I HATE living with my gparents
I have to worry about what I eat
I AM SO FUCKING STRESSED. ASDHSKADJASKDJSAD.