I hate this feeling. You know that guilty gross feeling you get after you know you just eat too much. It's like I've had so much self-control with my diet. And then i eat all this gross food and now I want nothing more than to throw it all up....don't worry I'm not bulimic, though I have tried, I've never been able to make myself throw up. It would be nice to have that power, only for times when I really need it. I have this asian friend named Rachel who I stayed the night with the other day. And you know how most asians are super skinny and petite? (sorry about stereotyping) Well I was making fun of her saying how fat I was and how she was probably 100 pounds, and I finally forced her to get on the scale and her weight was...........yeahp you guessed it, UNDER 100 pounds. 94 pounds to be exact. How is it possible for a teenage girl who has hit puberty to be under 100 pounds?! Aghhh, crazy crazy.
Loaded down with homework and XC as usual. Things have been generally good though, I'm still getting stressed and depressed, but I think I'm slowly rising out of this most recent depression period. This time it only lasted 3 months which is improved from the last bad period which was 6 months. But things change really easily and I know it won't take much to throw me back down to the bottom so I have to be careful.
Sometimes I feel like a complete bitch. A guy who's really cute started to talk to me and asked for my number and at first I was really excited because well he's SO cute, but then we talked more and texted more and I realized his personality is NOT my type, it's the type I usually try to avoid. And I feel like a complete bitch for it but I guess I can't help who I'm emotionally attracted too right?
