If you can wait till I get home

I swear to you that we can make this last. La la la. 

So basically a ton of stuff has happened in the past week. School work has been crazy, obviously as shown by my last post. And Cross Country has taken over my life! Not necessarily in a bad way though. We ran 5.5 miles today, and that was pretty hard because there were some intense hills and what not. But through every run though I feel like I want nothing more than to die right there, by the time I get done I'm like "Wow I can't believe I actually did that, I feel really good about it!" Anyways, Friday night was pretty good, just chilled and got some rest. Then Saturday I got up really early to do the Sand Pit 5k, and that was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done. Harder than running 5 or even 8 miles. There were water obstacles, crawling obstacles, climbing obstacles, and much more. And running on the soft sand for a total of 2 miles was NOT fun, I was seriously ready to turn carnivore zombie and attack everyone that either passed or ran near me. It was like I turned into a sea monster. But once again I finished and felt great! Even got first in my age group and got a medal for it! :) 

Then Saturday night I went over to my friend Rachel's house, where there were probably 20 other people to get ready for our school's dance called morP. It's actually Prom spelled backwards and that's why the P is capitalized. It was one of the funner school dances I've been to because it was completely unformal, basically was a rave. I got so sweaty and nasty, but who the hell cares when your having fun:) And it was a great way for me to make friend. I don't think the people who have stability there whole lives realize how incredibly hard it is to move to a new high school right in the middle of your 4 years and just make completely new friends. There were so many times I was mad/angry/upset/embarrassed/lonely/scared. Actually those were the majority of my feelings until I made some friends. Morp is also really fun because you dress totally crazy. Nothing you wear is supposed to make sense. And trust me it didn't haha. 

So now I've just been loaded down with some more homework. And I guess my week isn't as exciting as I felt like it was. But OH! Good news, we are most likely going to get that apartment we've been looking at for a while. I really hope so because I honestly don't know how much more of my grandmothers nagging I can take. She is constantly on me to have my room clean, drink milk, eat vegetables, do my homework, make good grades, like I DON'T do that stuff already. Shit it's annoying. But then I feel bad saying stuff like that because she buys me so much stuff and she's so nice to me and I know it's so amazing of her to let our family stay at her house for so long. I know she just wants the best for me, and I appreciate that. It just get's hard. 

Nothing new on the boyfriend front. This one guy, Luke, asked for my number last friday. But thennnnnn I lost my phone the next afternoon :( So I don't really know how that's turning out. I let him know that I lost it so he doesn't think I completely ignored him. But anyways there's a few guys I'm digging, you know when you move to a new school you get so many prospects haha. There's a guy anthony who I awkwardly met over the summer and he and his girlfriend just broke up. I feel bad because obviously they JUST broke up and I'm the type of person who would ask a persons ex if I could date them even if it had been years. I feel really sympathetic that way. But he did tell my cousin over the summer that if he didn't have a gf he would go for me. But I get so shy and awkward around guys I don't really see myself working out with anybody at all. And it's not like I'm one of those girls who depends on a guy, I'm the complete opposite, It's been forever since I've had someone that way, like 2 years, and he was honestly a GREAT boyfriend. I miss having someone to rely on like that, but i think since it's been so long I've basically syked myself out and now I don't even want to try because I think things would just be easier without a relationship and because I would probably mess shit up anyways. I'm a screw up like that.